1. 17:01 31st May 2011

    Notes: 2794

    Reblogged from nikkilipstick

    FUCKING METAL: How To Tell The Difference Between Metal Genres

    I think I’m all over the Heavy Metal dude *G*

    nikkilipstick:

    itsmetal:

    * POWER METAL
    The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

    * THRASH METAL
    The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

    * HEAVY METAL
    The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

    * FOLK METAL
    The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave…….. without the princess.

    * VIKING METAL
    The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

    * DEATH METAL
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

    * BLACK METAL
    The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

    * GORE METAL
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

    * DOOM METAL
    The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.

    * PROGRESSIVE METAL
    The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ‘HEAVY METAL’ protagonist.

    * GLAM METAL
    The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

    * NU METAL
    The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

     highlights :  fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

    (Source: itsmetal)

     
    1. mcraigan reblogged this from itsmetal
    2. nic-nicwriting reblogged this from akanoaki
    3. akanoaki reblogged this from itsmetal
    4. jackrabbit-lovesong reblogged this from itsmetal
    5. tearsofbrimstone reblogged this from n-e-m-n-e-c-r-o-m-a-n-c-y
    6. n-e-m-n-e-c-r-o-m-a-n-c-y reblogged this from itsmetal
    7. iamveryattachedtomythumb reblogged this from amapthatleadstonowhere
    8. tanaquill reblogged this from amapthatleadstonowhere
    9. amapthatleadstonowhere reblogged this from itsmetal
    10. skacore182 reblogged this from itsmetal
    11. little-black-gnat reblogged this from too-y0ung-to-fall-inlove
    12. theperksofbeinganidiot reblogged this from phils-leppard
    13. phils-leppard reblogged this from too-y0ung-to-fall-inlove
    14. too-y0ung-to-fall-inlove reblogged this from raise-your-hands-to-rock
    15. aero-crue-gnr reblogged this from raise-your-hands-to-rock
    16. heres-the-music reblogged this from raise-your-hands-to-rock
    17. p-oursomesugaronme reblogged this from raise-your-hands-to-rock
    18. wickednoizyfr3ak reblogged this from exeuntomnes
    19. parallelraven reblogged this from itsmetal and added:
      This is perfect.
    20. niriop2 reblogged this from itsmetal and added:
      Yeah, that’s pretty much it, but you forgot Metalcore: The protagonist rides in, says he doesn’t give a fuck about the...
    21. lifeonmoon reblogged this from itsmetal
    22. alder-adder reblogged this from definitelynotlow
    23. professorbingle reblogged this from spaghettimiles
    24. isaideasygirliknowithurts reblogged this from definitelynotlow
    25. definitelynotlow reblogged this from spaghettimiles and added:
      lol this is going around again