fearnormalcy asked: Do you have any advice on being a better mean fat girl? I tend to be real passive and avoid conflict :/
Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to think about what I actually mean when I tag things #meanfatgirls and I’m still working on it! Be patient with me!
A lot of it was just about what was going on in my personal life. I felt like I too was having trouble asserting myself so my needs could be met, stopping others from using and abusing me and finding myself in friendships where I held so much for the other person without reciprocation. I also started to feel like I spent a lot of time working to get folks more comfortable with me, my body and my ideas and focused on acceptance rather than mutual respect.
I don’t want to be accepted, someone giving up the fight to make me thin, straight and more docile….I wanted to be revered, leave people awestruck and that healthy dose of fear that forces people to think twice about the shit they say to me because of how I fearlessly defend and celebrate myself and others.
How does one become less passive? It’s hard to say exactly! For me anyways! I think I just started to realize standing up for myself and becoming my main advocate (because we are our main advocates always, we need to stay vigilant) was going to make me seem mean to anyone who wasn’t keeping my best interests in their heart. I’m mean in the sense that I had done enough tiptoeing around, quieting down and shrinking into the shadows and I reached my breaking point. No more Misses Nice Polite Well Behaved and Accommodating Fat Girl.
Have you had enough? Once you have exhausted that way of being, you’ll find a new path.
Me, I’m working on checking in with myself more often and being honest when that happens. Do I like the way this person is speaking to me? Do I feel good when I do this thing? Am I remembering to worship myself in public so that others may know how to respect and worship me too? Would I let someone treat my loved ones the way I’m being treated right now?
You and your body and your personhood are in a relationship of a lifetime. Are you doing what you can to make it a good one? How do you need support in getting there? Who in your life needs a timeout until they can show up and build you up?
You and I are reinventing ourselves! We can do it!!
Note for myself. Jessica is the freaking best.